It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. Ralph Waldo Emerson
So many days have passed since I wrote last. That’s how it goes when you plan sometimes. We thought my site would only be down a week but alas a month has gone by. Now my new website is up and running. I like it too. I hope you enjoy it.
We just spent time with my 87 year old mother-in-law. She had cataract surgery and needed a little help. I realize now how important having children is. Who is going to put up with any of us as we age. Who helps us if we don’t have children and we’re the remaining spouse.
Criminy, I’m in trouble. I have no children to care for me when I am unable to maintain my own home. Could we not come up with something better than nursing homes. They scare the heck out of me. I guess people who don’t believe Dr. Kevorkian had the right idea to help us into dying never spent any time in a nursing home. I’m sure there are some good ones but I also know there are many more of the urine saturated facilities. 
With all the baby boomers moving in that direction, I was hoping someone would come up with a good plan for those final years. It does make me understand the old native tradition of leaving the tribe and wandering away to die. It’s probably pretty quick and you don’t burden others or yourself with “un-living.” What is our fear about death and dying anyway? So many people say they believe in some sort of salvation once we leave this world. Why then don’t we want to get there? Fear I suppose. Fear of the unknown. That’s a great statement about faith, and an entirely different topic that I’ll have to consider another time.
The reason I’m discussing care giving comes from my own impatience while being with my mother-in-law. I’m sure there’s some lesson for me in this. I try really hard to understand and care and then I find myself so irritated that I can hardly speak. I get moody, silent and surly. Once we leave then guilt sets in and I’d like to retrace my steps and be nicer. I only hope there are people out there that have the ability to help the elderly without feeling the frustration. Apparently I am not one of them. Of course it could just be an in-law thing.
The solution, of course, is to stay perfectly fit and healthy so that no one else ever has to take care of us! If that fails, then I suppose one would pray that someone with a kind heart and a gentle hand would be there to assist us when we need help. How do we cope with these things: impatience, frustration, irritation, moodiness, silence, surliness? I’m searching for the magic answer to this one too.
Thanks, I needed to hear that so I live with the anticipation of good and not the “what if’s.”