It’s Not Sibling Rivalry

It snowed last year too: I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.  Dylan Thomas

What is it about families?  I’m not talking about my children because I don’t have any.  I’m talking about siblings and their children. 

We’re on our way to meet a niece for breakfast.  I’m very excited to see her but with my enthusiasm also comes discomfort.  We no longer share a relationship with her sister or her mom.  We of course blame them and they of course blame us.  Sadly we don’t know what happened.  Over time our relationships changed.  I know we have reasons on both sides to harbor pain and anger.  Unfortunately the cost has been a loss of family. 

At the beginning, I thought we were all alone in this but amazingly as I talk with others, they often have similar situations with siblings.  It’s just weird.  I really don’t know why it happens.  I do know I’m tired though.  I even received some counseling for it.

I felt guilty, I felt hurt, I felt deceived, I felt anger, I felt sorrow.  I hoped for a way to fix it, found none and decided I had to move on without them.  My only recourse is to send love in their direction.  I don’t want to harbor ill will to those I love.  I also don’t want to feel all the negative emotions that come from the loss.  So I am going to go meet my niece that maintains contact with us and enjoy loving her.  Maybe that means we’re almost ready to have tea!

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