Dreams by Langston Hughes
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
Sometimes I just hate being honest. I really don’t want to talk about this. It puts me in a precarious situation. I am now vulnerable for letting the cat out of the bag. I’ve been working with a program by Marcia Weider founder of Dream University. It’s about making dreams come true. I’ve listened to an entire course and worked on the tasks. All of the tasks lead to making your dream come true. Here’s the deal. I want it to be easy. I want to wave my magic wand and make it happen. That’s not exactly how it works. You have to be committed and DO something. So, I am. I have written up a proposal. I have researched (minorly) the people I will have to interview. My next step is to enroll someone to help me. That’s where I’m stuck. I don’t wanna! It’s okay to dream within my own head. No one knows so I don’t have to disappoint anyone or hear any disdain or indifference.
I realize that this is the voice of the doubter that is within. It doesn’t like to do things that might be mocked. My doubter believes I’ll be hurt if someone, including my husband, doesn’t relish my dream as I do. It fears being discouraged. It’s the same doubter that caused me to walk away from music, that told me I shouldn’t let others read my writing because it might have errors, and that keeps telling me it’s fine to do nothing. My doubter likes safety.
What I have to do now is accept the doubter’s concern and then reassure it that I won’t let us be hurt. A rejection is only that and it won’t make me bleed. I don’t even have to feel worthless because of a rejection. The thing is, I know so clearly that we all carry doubt and that we have to tuck it away and let the dreamer out. I know this; I know this; I know this. Yet it really does feel so much more comfortable to stay where I am rather than take a leap of faith and put myself out there. However, I am tired of just being comfy. I want to feel filled with joy and full of energy. Comfortable means I am pretty much just lounging. Although there is a time for that too, I want to move forward with a dream.
First of all, writing and having a blog was my first step out of my comfort zone. This has been great fun for me and some of you are gracious enough to encourage me and give me feedback. So now I’m comfortable here. Guess what? I need to move on and tackle some other dreams. Two days ago I finally put music and lyrics together for my first song. Actually it’s my second but a dear friend wrote the music to the lyrics of my first song. I am quite excited about song #2. I did a little of the Snoopy dance when I finished. I’m not going to judge it right now so I can’t tell you much about it but what I can say is that, “I did it!”
These are two dreams I am working on simultaneously, and although I have more dreams that I am in the process of completing, I think I chose to write the song to avoid the others. If that is so, at least it enables me to feel the pleasure of allowing a dream to be born and begin to grow. I now will continue with the dream I spoke of at the beginning that I began several weeks ago. Much is done but now it’s time to enroll someone for assistance. Okay, big breath . . . here I go!