Memoir Excerpt – Chapter 3

Week 3 / September 2 – 8

I have to give it a rest.  It is Labor Day weekend.  My fear of reading more is I can’t reach anyone with answers if I get scared.

We ate at Kathy’s; we played golf Saturday and Sunday; we cleaned house and garage on Monday.

            The Internet makes research so easy and available to look up anything and everything.  Since it is the World Wide Web, anyone can post any information or non-information.  Because I wanted more help in making decisions I used the Internet.  Youza, big mistake! Most people will say knowledge is power.  Not so for me.  I would do a nose dive because I would read something that scared the bejeebers out of me and then I would be in a funk about, “I’m gonna die.”  Luckily my primary care physician,  who became my lifeline to sanity, said to me one day, “Quit reading about it.  It’s making you crazy.”  Well, duh!  Why hadn’t I thought of that?  So I quit looking things up and reading about it.  That may sound extreme to those with a need to know as much as possible about existing illness.  All my nurse friends thrive on knowledge about the body.  Well yeah, they like that stuff; blood doesn’t make them gag.  They don’t say, “Eeeuuw, I can’t look at that open wound.”  I, on the other hand, almost fainted the first time I had to clean my ears after having them pierced. Poor Jim had to save me then too.  He put the hydrogen peroxide on them.  Had he known what that would lead to, he may have bailed from our marriage back then!

            So finally in the third week, I had to do mind altering activities.  Since golf is a sport of love/hate, it was great for shutting out the cancer tape that played.  Who could think of cancer when you duff a tee shot, pitch over the green, and three putt a Par 3?  It’s a great sport for forgetting what ails you!

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