If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck. Unknown author
I worry about people remaining angry at me. What is that all about? We all get angry at others and probably especially those we love. I sit and rehash situations or discussions wondering if I was wrong. I know how stupid that is because of course I wasn’t wrong it was the other party! That is until I rehash it enough times and then I understand that there is another side to the story and that side may prove to be more right than my side. It’s then that I wonder if the other person is still resentful or irritated or doesn’t really like me anymore. 
Again I say, what is that all about? Why do I think someone may not like me because we disagreed? Am I that other person? Do I not accept others if we disagree? Is my concern a reflection on me? Geez, I don’t think so. I usually expect to disagree with others at some time but maybe I hold that against them and don’t even know it.
Better yet, maybe it’s the company I keep. My husband often holds grudges. Once someone is on his “other” list, they stay there. They don’t get to return to the good list. Maybe my fear comes from witnessing that. I now believe others may do the same and remain angry at me or worse yet just write me off their good list.
Here’s the thing, I can’t blame Jim for who he is. That’s how he’s always been. Things are black and white for him. He doesn’t question his convictions until he needs to. Then he decides and moves on. What I can see is that through continued contact, I begin to accept his reality. Wow, I never really thought of that before. I’ve become “the duck!” Through association we meld our beliefs. I never worried about that before but now I have to face it. Do I want that particular melding that causes me to fear that others may toss me aside if we don’t see eye to eye? I guess I’ll be doing some rethinking on this issue of melded realities. Who am I anyway – me or thee?
