Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind. Dr. Seuss
I just had one of those revelations that you try to work on but usually miss. I have always believed I was honest and up front with people. I have now learned over these past two years that although I am sometimes both those things, the operative word is “sometimes”. There are many instances with work that I felt it necessary to say what needed to be said. At work, it’s not personal. However, in my personal life, it is personal. I have spent many years trying to stay out of the fray. I played the role growing up as the peace keeper.
That meant I didn’t need to add to the discomfort of others. Often I chose to say nothing. Then over time it festered or became an issue that needed to be addressed. This is the reason I stuffed many emotions, concerns, angers, and etc.
Earlier today I actually recognized that I was going to once again let something slide between a friend and me. We corresponded through email but her reply tipped me off that something was wrong. I re-read it several times thinking I’d just let this pass until she decided to talk to me. Finally I got an “aha” and thought I have to quit letting moments like this pass. I don’t know what’s wrong but my assumption was that she’s angry at me. There’s my ego again thinking, “It’s all about me.” As it turns out, she was dealing with a family issue and couldn’t talk about it. I’m glad I didn’t wait for her to respond but instead asked her if something was wrong. That’s when I found out it wasn’t, “All about me.” Imagine that! My point again is to speak up. Your assumption is probably incorrect. Don’t let things ride hoping whatever it is will disappear. It doesn’t. It just hides for a while. Take care of yourself and others by talking not stuffing.
