Writing Pitfalls and Perseverance

In the realm of ideas everything depends on enthusiasm… in the real world all rests on perseverance.   Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I now understand why Jim (my husband) lost incentive to bike, run, and swim once he didn’t qualify for the iron-man fifteen years ago.  I always thought it was just an excuse to quit exercising but now I see that it’s in the mind.  I recently contacted an editor in New York in hopes of having her work with my memoir.  Her name came to me through an author that my book club worked with.  I was extremely excited about her ideas and what she would do to help me move forward.  I sent her my manuscript so she could do a quick read of it to decide if it was worth her time and my money to actually work with her.  I was so pumped because I just knew one way or the other I would be able to get off of dead center.  If she said it would be more appropriate to bring it out as an e-book or a self published book, I was good with that.  Then I could move on.  If she decided it had merit and she believed she could help because of her connections then I was going to be willing to find a way to pay for it.  However, she came back with a bit of lackluster “yes, I can help.”  Her cost is out of my budget so because of her response, I just can’t justify using her and she gave me just enough in her response to be uncertain whether to go it alone and publish it myself.  

I felt so liberated about where I was headed with this memoir before getting a response back from this editor, but now am so discouraged because I am back to zero.  I just want to be done with it.  I haven’t even dealt with rejection much yet so how am I going to be able to handle that if I can’t decide to move on to another editor. 

Geez, it’s good to put thoughts down in writing.  Hearing this sounds so whiny.  Maybe now that I’ve looked at it again, I can search out another way to believe in my memoir.  My need for validation gets in my way.  I lose confidence and then decide its just kinder to procrastinate and do nothing.  Well, that’s a lie because I’ve been in that place for a long time and it doesn’t feel good.  I am not being nice to myself by sitting back and hoping something else will turn up.  This week-end I’m going to a writing conference.  We’ll see if I can get some good old fashioned incentive energized within me and move forward once again.

By perseverance the snail reached the ark.    Charles Spurgeon

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